Dear whoever is suffering with their mental health today, I would like to give you some advice I received from my therapist that has improved my mental health as a girl who was suffering from depression for a very long time.
Let’s waste no more time with stupid intros and dive into what matters.
Why we suffer with mental health
Mental health is what we as normal humans call peace of mind; it’s when you can live your life without holding yourself back or allowing any of your past problems to stand in your way of living and experiencing your life.
Why do we even suffer from mental health issues, though? It’s because we haven’t been taught how to feel or handle our emotions the way that they should be experienced. We are only taught to label them as ‘bad’ or ‘good.’
If you’re happy, then ‘good’; if you’re sad, then it’s ‘bad,’ right?
Well… the truth is life doesn’t work that way; there is no good and bad feelings, they are all just feelings, and each one should be experienced to its fullest: the pain after betrayal, the rejection, the shame, the stress, happiness, which I don’t think I have to tell you to embrace since it’s the only feeling that you take fully from the airport 😊
Just kidding, but I’m serious. We have been taught to romanticize joy and abandon other feelings. I’m not going to lie to you; no one likes pain or sadness, but they are part of life, and if not felt fully, that’s when, my dear, mental health problems show up.
You see, when you go through a terrifying experience (let’s say your best friend just left you or betrayed you), and instead of being honest with yourself and accepting that this situation have pained you so much, you listen to those stupid advices online that tell you to ‘be strong and not let it affect you’ and that ‘you never cared.’ Whatever you try to numb these feelings, this pain, by filling up your calendar with all the things that will keep you busy so that you won’t have to face the truth (that you are hurt), which is completely normal, a nd we all go through it. This feeling doesn’t go away; it becomes a part of your identity.
To be more specific, it sticks itself into you either physically or mentally, or even emotionally; a part of you or all of you will hold it till you sit down and let yourself admit that this situation hurt you, and you allow yourself to feel it all.
This, my dear, is how your mental health is triggered, by not creating a safe space for all emotions to be heard. After a while you will notice that you cannot relax, you are always expecting the worst out of others, you cannot trust people, you find it hard to connect, you isolate yourself, and eventually, you start to panic and have all these issues getting tangled together, creating, God forbid, mental illness that would take years to heal and come back to your normal, healthy, happy self.
No, instead of all this, you could have sat with that pain for a month, and you would have healed completely without having your entire life shaken and affected by that.
I know it’s not what we like to hear, but hard times are part of life, and no one, no matter what great book you’re going to read or which mentor is helping you, can protect you from experiencing pain and disappointment.
But that doesn’t mean we should give things more power than they deserve. We need to learn how to do things properly, and here is how you heal, learn, and grow as the best, happiest, healthiest, most successful, creative, and alive version of yourself.
How sleep is affecting your mental health
I can still reember the first time I talked to a therapist, I thought she would recommend pills, success, or I don’t know whatever magical thing to help get rid of the tightness in my chest that just wont go away, but instead she took out a paper and started asking me “How is yoru sleep schedule” You can imagine my eyes, I was huh? I am telling you my problems, and I am waiting for a solution, and this is what you are asking?
Like what?
The thing is, we as humans have basic needs, movement. If any of these are affected, everything else falls. When you suffer from any mental illness, you tend to abandon your needs, especially food and sleep.
Which causes your energy to be so low that you won’t be able to even handle the smallest of your day-to-day tasks, which causes other problems. I don’t think I even need to mention the results of you falling even deeper into that state. It becomes harder to crawl back up because you have no energy to keep up with your own life, so sleep is our first solution.
I know to normal people it’s easy and peaceful, but when you are suffering from a mental health disorder, it’s pretty hard to convince your body to relax and just sleep.
Why is it so difficult to sleep when you are suffering with mental health disorders
When you are in that state, your brain believes that you are in danger; you cannot sleep when you feel like there is an enemy waiting to attack you at any point. So your brain works its best to keep you awake.
You see, your brain cannot tell truth from lies; that is why it keeps you in survival mode as long as it can, which causes your body to feel so tired even if you haven’t done anything. I’m sure you understand me here.
So for your body to sleep, you need to help it relax.
How to relax when you are suffering with mental health disorders
Here are some tips I learned that have helped me a lot to relax my body into sleeping. Don’t worry,, there is nothing about red lights or whatever. I don’t buy that crap.
The moment the sun set I want you to start preparing for sleep
You need to get everything done before hours of sleep so that your body can relax. If you have a skincare routine, shower, want to make dinner, or whatever your night rituals are, start them now.
Spend time with your loved ones
This is very optional; I know many of us don’t have this luxury, but if you do, please use it. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt safer and more at peace than when I get to have quality time before sleep with my siblings.
It’s so refreshing to feel loved and have people who support you near you before going to bed; it helps your body relax naturally.
Have some alone time
This can be at least 30 minutes. I want you to know that you are in this state because you refused to feel your feelings. So for you to relax and NOT overthink before sleeping, you better give yourself this space to just feel it all, think everything without any judgement, take it all out of your body, and just be.
I would do this every day after my night prayer, grabbing my fancy cup with tea and going upstairs, staring up at the stars, and just giving myself that moment to breathe and let it all out—everything that angered me—listening to all my thoughts, feelings, and crazy ideas. Sometimes I would just stare and admire the sky; it’s such a beautiful place to be.
This won’t feel good at first, especially if you are panicking and thinking about committing suicide, God forbid. Then, stay away from high places and just stick to the therapist and do what you are told.
No, I’m not someone ready to heal, not harm themselves, someone who wishes to get out of this state and go back to self-love. If I were, then this ritual would be a game changer. It’s one of my favorites!
Shower before bed
Hot water with a scented soap that just makes you feel clean and smell amazing is what you need to relax your mind before letting yourself sleep; if you can afford fancy pajamas, even better. Spray some calming perfume, and you are ready to sleep.
Not really 😊
Journaling before bed
Journaling
Journaling
Journaling
I can’t say it enough. JOURNALING
YOU NEED TO JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!
Was that loud enough?
Okay 😊
For your healing process to really work, you need to write down what you are thinking, feeling, and going through, and just journal.
I’ve heard a lot that there are so many ways to journal and that you should journal correctly, but I believe none of that nonsense.
Everywhere in life, you were taught how to be and what to do. This paper or book, my dear, is your safe space. YOU HEAR ME!!
YOUR SAFE SPACE
You should write anything you want. If you wish to insult someone, do it Here is my pen. ✒️
Sweetie, you should let it all out; it’s your safe space If you wish to go, I hate you, Ijlal. Your advances matter, then, girl or boy 😉. That is your safe space, not my comment space
YOU HEAR ME!!
In your journal, write it all out there; that is where it belongs. You will notice after a while how funny your thoughts that used to tear you apart are silly and cute.
Because sometimes our brains tend to give things power when they are not even that big of a deal. And sometimes you will see the patterns, you will see how far you have come, and you will see everything. Trust me on this one.
Journaling will change your life; it just does. You will understand yourself in ways you never have before, because what you write reflects you, not the world; it’s how you see it.
Just go and buy yourself a cute notebook and start. I don’t advise you to buy any expensive journal, but at the end of the day, if you enjoy them, then why not?
Meditation before sleep
This is where I struggle, aaaah, but I will advise you to meditate before sleep, even though I always get lazy and skip it. So be better than me and let your mind slow down a little before sleeping.
Movie time!!!!!!!
I know we have all been waiting for this part. It’s time to reward yourself for all the struggles, for doing all you could to stay alive, and just enjoy. I don’t think life is made just so you can work and struggle; life should be lived to its fullest, so go grab some snacks you love and pick out a movie, and enjoy every second of it.
I know this doesn’t sound like the healthy habits we were taught to believe in, but see where all that crap got you…
Now try out mine and see where it will take you. Life should be lived, enjoyed, and everything. Find movies that light you up and inspire you to enjoy life and live it to its fullest.
I cannot tell you how many times I have learned to just see things differently because of the movies. I love cooking because of the movies. I love the stars, which is something I learned from the movies. We don’t find people with passion around us. Sometimes you are only surrounded by sad, hurt, robotic humans.
But movies can be your best friend. Watch things that light your world up and motivate you to do more so that you will get where you want to go.
Try to stay away from any sad or thrilling movies unless that is something you enjoy, but I would personally recommend something that is dreamy and helps you find hope in the darkness you have fallen into.
This can also be about reading novels or audiobooks, whatever you enjoy. This is a reward and also a safe space for yourself to enjoy, chill, and not worry about anything
Turn off the lights, dear.
I said no red lights, but you’d better sleep with no lights at all, unless you are afraid of darkness; then ask your therapist or research online. I’m no expert.
I don’t need to give you the reasons; you can read books about them if you are interested, but you’d better keep the lights off.
I’m sure at this point your body is relaxed, and you can just open up your Pinterest vision board or Pinterest in general, or just sleep right away.
To me, staring at all the things that I like before sleeping is a very crucial ritual. Not only do I get to sleep peacefully and dream of all the beauty I adore in this world, but it’salso because it motivates me and excites me for the days coming ahead.
It’s like peeking into your future before being there; it’s an explanation of why you should keep fighting, why you should move forward even when things get tough.
It’s something I personally really recommend. These are not goals for the year; no, these are lifetime goals. So there is no pressure, and that is wonderful before bed.
That’s it all for today. I hope this post was beneficial for you, and if you have tried any other ritual that you have seen to be helpful, please be generous enough to share with others in the comments. You may just save a life and make someone’s life better with what you say. Thank you all; it was fun writing this.
